California Roadtrip

Rylee and I just got back from California! I wish I could say we were there for some fun in the sun, but we we actually got a better experience. I would not give up that day for any amount of ocean or Disneyland time, it was an absolutely incredible day, spent with my Uncle's family celebrating the life of my cousin. Completely worth the long and PAINFUL drive there and back. And when I say painful.....I mean nothing but sage brush for hours and hours and hours. So grateful that Rylee was good for me!

Mason on the left, Ryan on the right. Here is the link to the news story.

I left the funeral with a greater appreciation for everything that I have and a stronger desire to be a better person. I was touched by the words and stories that were shared in honor of the two boys who were killed, and was amazed that they had such a strong legacy left behind in their short life.

My memories of my cousin Ryan are all based on the Petersen family reunions. I remember Ryan or "Ryno" as a little boy hunting squirrels at our campsite with a slingshot. A little boy who idolized the "real cowboys" (my uncles) who lived in Idaho. He was always, cute, sweet, and kind, and often the topic of discussion because there was ALWAYS a hilarious story about something crazy or adventurous he had done. We would listen to his parents tell us the latest story about him shooting his eye with a dart gun...almost losing his eye completely. There are many more stories, and a lot that I don't know because we lived two states away. I mean, this is not even MY loss. The loss I will experience will be an empty seat at the reunions. Don't get me wrong, I am SO sad, and will miss seeing his cute face, but this is definitely not MY loss. I did not kiss his cute baby cheeks everyday, or tuck him in each night. I did not watch him ride his bike, or see him on his birthdays or watch him graduate high school. I didn't send him off on his first date, or teach him how to drive a car, or watch him be baptized. I didn't go with him on his crazy adventures, or walk with him down the halls at school. Don't be sorry for MY minimal loss, but be sorry for the mother who lost her sweet boy and the grandparents who lost their sweet grandson. The aunts and uncles who played with him everyday. My heart is broken for his family as I sit here thinking it could have been me. It could have been MY boy. As I came home from my trip, I felt so selfish hugging my kids. How is it fair that I get to come home to my normal every day life where nothing has changed?? I am so deeply heartbroken for my family. 

In the midst of all the heartbreaking sadness, the funeral was absolutely beautiful with a very strong spirit. Mason's dad got up and shared with the family that Elder Neil Anderson called him that morning to let him know that the First Presidency and 12 Apostles had heard and spoke about the two boys that morning and put the families names on the prayer roll and were going through the temple with them in mind. So neat! How blessed are we to live on the earth with the knowledge that we will see our loved ones again...How blessed are we to know that our loved ones are in a better place. Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us, and while we don't always understand what it is or why, we can know and trust that He knows what's best. I am so grateful for the gospel and the peace and comfort it gives me.
They had a quote printed on the program that Mason kept in his pocket during his mission. I absolutely loved it:

It made me think of my own death song. How will I be remembered on earth? When my time comes will I beg for more time to live my life a different way, or will I sing my death song and die like a hero going home? I am no where near perfect. There is always room for improvement, and I'm grateful for these little reminders that help me remember I can be better. Grateful for this unforgettable experience!

 

My 6 month old watching a movie....yeah, someone was looking out for me this trip! She was super!

My mom and her siblings

 The drive home was much prettier - California was green and Donnors pass was foggy and pretty. Also, the desert at night is much more pleasant to look at. HA!

Welcomed home with these pretty flowers!